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Apprehensive daughter

Dear Queenie,

I’m going away to college this fall and I’m planning to move in with my boyfriend who is already in the same city instead of living in a dormitory.

The problem is I haven’t told my parents about this yet. They will be giving me money for living expenses and it will be cheaper living with my boyfriend and sharing expenses than living in a dorm, but they probably won’t like the idea of us living together without being married.

Queenie, how do I handle this?—Apprehensive daughter

 

Dear Apprehensive,

You tell your parents the truth and explain your reasons for this plan.

But you also should consider this decision carefully. If you are just starting college you are a bit young for the kind of commitment implied by your decision to live with your boyfriend and the effects it may have on your college life.

For example, living in a dorm is a good way to get used to the new circumstances of college life and to meet new people.

What if college offers new experiences that you may miss out on?

What if your parents refuse to pay your rent if you are not living in a dormitory?

And what if you find living with your boyfriend is not as wonderful as you hope it will be? Living together often bring out all the less pleasant aspects of a relationship. What if you and your boyfriend break up? Where would you live then, and how would you afford it?

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