Dear Queenie,

My fiancée and I are planning to get married, but we can’t afford a big wedding right now so we’re planning to just go to the census office for a small ceremony and later on when we’ve saved up enough we’ll have a big church wedding and invite all our relatives and friends.

But Queenie, how do we explain it to all of our potential guests?—Groom-to-be

Dear Groom-to-be,

Explain it to them the way you have explained it to me. Or you could have a quiet civil ceremony now, and when you have saved up enough, celebrate your first (or second or third or fifth) anniversary with a formal renewal of vows and the kind of blowout you cannot afford right now.

The ones who really care about you should understand. The ones who do not understand, well, you will know what to think about them.